This is not the first time I’m facing an identity crisis. I’ve questioned myself about what defines me as a person, what is it that sets me apart from the rest? what do people like about me, what is it in me that annoys the crap out of them. This undying need to make myself likable, and be the best puts me in a wreck. I tend to lose myself this in reflective process, which is so ironical because I’m trying to actually discover instead. Criticism comes easily to people, but compliments? Not so much. When you can’t depend on people to remind you of your strengths, you have to look within and come up with something.
I’ve always grown up knowing what I do not want in life. This definitely made elimination easier, but it modeled me as a person who never had strong opinions about things. Yes, I was able to adapt myself to what I was thrown into, but I lost wanting to dig deeper into my true desires. When I realized this, it was time for me to leave my comfort zone and expand my boundaries.
Pursuing my next phase of my life and in the process, I began to create a new life for myself from scratch. A life in a completely new place, with a new set of people I’d never met before towards establishing a whole new lifestyle. The horrible culinary skills, Clumsy Laundry bags, papers everywhere around and dis-oriented beds actually shaping me into a new style of living from whom I used to be. It might not be a great accomplishment, for everyone who goes through this and worse even- but it is special for each individual and we need this validation.
As the year comes to an end, a very important phase in my life finds closure with it. And this closure will be key to how everything else dawns. Until then, toodles.